Category: Check Your Attitude

I loved the holidays growing up. And I mean I LOVED the holidays…everything about them.

I loved the anticipation.
I loved not having to go to school.
I loved watching tons of football.
I loved spending time with my family.
I loved the presents under the tree (and hopefully loved them just as much when opened).

And oh…how I loved the food.

As I grew up and matured (well…grew up anyway), some of that LOVE got lost. I realized how much work my parents put in to make the holidays so awesome for my three brothers and I. They made it seem pretty darn effortless when I now know how much behind-the-scenes work goes into everything.

But you know what? I still strongly like the holidays. I get some much needed time off from work. I spend more time with my amazing family. My life, which normally moves at breathtaking speed, just seems to slow down a bit and I revel in every single second of it.

As Ferris Bueller says: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

So I truly try to “look around once in a while” during the holidays.

Let’s circle back to something that most everyone seems to enjoy most about the holidays…the food. When I think of the holidays, I think of one main staple in our household and that is STUFFING.

Turkey? There’s a reason we only have it once a year.

Mashed potatoes? Nothing too exciting.

Veggies? Yeah right.

But the stuffing?? The “stuff” that dreams were made of.

My parents made a very basic stuffing: bread, celery, butter, broth, onion and some spices. Nothing crazy but my oh my, I would have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. As I entered my teen years, I would volunteer to make the stuffing. I’d set my alarm because I needed to stuff the bird before it went into the oven in the morning because for some reason, even though we always ate dinner at around 6:30, Thanksgiving dinner would start at 4. Don’t ask me why.

Anyway, I have such fond memories of making, smelling and then of course eating the stuffing. And those memories continued into my adulthood as we would always host Thanksgiving. I loved the tradition. Absolutely loved it.

Then celiac struck. Not only did it strike, but it struck in October, right before the holidays kicked in. There were four things that I knew immediately that I’d miss. Beer, pizza, bagels and my stuffing.

But then I had a thought. “They make gluten-free bread. The rest of the ingredients are all gluten-free. I’m totally good!!”

So Thanksgiving rolls around. Mrs. Dude makes sure we have all of the necessary ingredients to make my kick-booty stuffing. I don’t remember the actual brand of gluten-free bread we used, but remember in 2007, the options were limited. Pre-celiac when I made stuffing, we’d use bread that was slightly stale. When I made stuffing in 2007, even though I used fresh gluten-free bread, it still had that same stale, dry feel to it. I know…kind of gross but I figured I was golden.

So I make my stuffing. I stuff the heck out of the bird. I put it in the oven and all day long I’m salivating. Everyone is going to LOVE my gluten-free stuffing.

Pop…the turkey is ready. I get a big spoon and excitedly start digging the stuffing out. Hmmm…not the same texture but I’m sure it will taste just great.

Wrong! It sucked. And I don’t mean just “not the same”. It was truly disgusting. Can the bread make that much of a difference? Apparently so.

So that’s my stuffing story. I’m sure you’ve got your own “now I’m gluten-free” horror stories too.

But what else do we celiacs need to be careful of during the gluten free holidays? Here is some free advice. It comes from the heart.

1. Cross-contamination: Holidays usually means lots of people. And lots of people means lots of food. And lots of food means lots of hands digging into that food. Do yourself a favor. Keep your food separate. Having a bunch of appetizers? Make a plate for yourself and keep them away from everyone else. All it takes is one slip up and your toast…no pun intended.
2. Eating at someone else’s house: We almost always host Thanksgiving but then do Christmas at my brother’s house. And I must say I am blessed. My sister-in-law totally gets what gluten-free means, from preparation all the way down to the food itself. I’ve eaten there dozens of times over the years since my celiac diagnosis and I’ve never gotten hit once. But I know others out there aren’t as fortunate. So what do you do if you are going to someone’s house who may have the best intentions but is still not educated enough to prepare a completely safe meal? Well, if I were in your shoes, I’d bring my own food. Yeah…I know…total drag. But at the end of the day, it’s only food. Put the focus on the people and all the sudden the food doesn’t seem as important.
3. Overeating: I don’t care if you have celiac, allergies, diabetes, gout, crabs or amnesia. STOP eating before you get too full. Your entire being will thank you for it. Load up on water and raw veggies and then just dabble in the sweet stuff.
4. Getting caught up in the festivities: All it takes is one infraction and you can be down for the count. With all of the excitement and all of the food, there may be some opportunities to let your guard down and cheat “just this once”. Don’t do it. Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

My last piece of holiday advice is simple. Be thankful.

I know it’s hokey. But the older I get, the more thankful I am every single day for who and what I have in my life. If you go around the table saying your thanks, don’t say what everyone else will say (my family, my health, my iPhone). Dig deep. I’m sure you’ve got a lot to be thankful for, even if you’ve got celiac disease.

Happy Holidays from the Gluten Dude family to yours.

When I was in grade school, I was a prime target for bullies. I was small. I was extremely introverted. I had some nervous tics. And I had long hair. Like longer than every other boy in my school. So grade school was hell for me. My “best friend” would be nice to me when it was just the two of us. But once we got into school, he would join the others in making fun of me. Mike Perry…I wish I could have a few words with you now!

I remember in fifth grade, some sixth graders stole my bag as I was walking home from school. I foolishly chased them around trying to get the bag back, just what they wanted. When I got home, I told my mom and without delay she got in the car, sped off and I never saw her again.

Just kidding.

She tracked the boys down and got my bag back. I’d like to think she gave them a good beat down but I’m sure she at least said her piece.

Thankfully…in middle school, I found my groove, found some confidence, found true friends and MOST of the bullying stopped. But truthfully, those early days scarred me for life and I still carry it with me.

So bullying sucks. And it can be deadly as well. Bullying victims are between 2 and 9 times more likely to commit suicide than non-victims. A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying.

You may be asking yourself how bullying relates to be being gluten-free. Well…sadly…food bullying is prevalent. About one-third of kids with food allergies report they have been bullied because of their allergies. Just a wonderful society we live in, isn’t it? And it begs the question I’d like to ask all food bullies: WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE EAT? WHAT SINGLE EFFECT DOES IT HAVE ON YOUR LIFE? (Dude note: Yes, I’m screaming.)

I get emails all the time from parents who have young children with celiac disease. They pour out their souls out to me, telling me what a hard time their kids are having at school just trying to fit in while being gluten free.

They tell me how other kids put bread and other gluten filled items on their plate because they think it’s funny. They tell me how the school will not help protect their children during lunch hours. They tell me how their children come home from school crying. These are children we are talking about.

And why does this happen? Let’s talk about two big incidents that occurred within our amazing gluten-free community.

1. The Disney Channel

Back in 2013, the Disney Channel had a show called Jessie. It was your basic “nothing is funny but if we add a laugh track, maybe nobody will notice” TV show. I mean…it was just awful. In this one episode, which was online first and set to air on TV in three days, there was one character, a young boy, who was your standard Disney show nerd that they typecast: thin, wears a bowtie, has glasses, etc. Anyway…when the butler (because of course) went to serve him pancakes, he asked if they were gluten-free, which of course they were not? And naturally, hilarity ensued as they made him out to be a weak character. Then another character, a young girl, threw the pancakes at him as he yelled “Gluten. Gluten.” So having him whine about it makes her look like a bully and him look like a total wimp. Why is this is funny?

Here is one parent’s email to me:

So I wrote a blog post about it and started a petition on Change.org. Within 24 hours, it garnered over 10,000 signatures, the story was picked up by all of the major media outlets and Disney pulled the episode before it aired. It was a true victory for our community. Of course, not everyone was pleased. For the next week, I got brutally slammed by hundreds of people over all my social media channels. And I guarantee you, the people who slammed me? Those are the bullies.

2. Party City

Party City ran an ad yeaars to promote one of their products, though you would never know it. Here’s how the commercial went down:

– Person 1 walks in and comments to person 2 what an amazing spread of food she has.

– Person 1 points to a small dish of unappetizing crackers on the side and asks what they are.

– Person 2 says “those are some gluten-free options.”

– Person 1 asks “Do we even know people that are like that?”

– Person 2 answers with “Tina?!”.

Dude note: By the tone of her voice, they are inferring that Tina is annoying and high-demand. No disease or anything. Just annoying because she eats gluten-free.

– Person 2 responds “Oh gross…yeah.”

Again…our community went into overdrive and the ad was pulled.

But the question remains. Why are we a target of food bullying? I mean The Today Show called celiac the “trendy new disease”. Jimmy Fallon portrayed us as losers. Joy Behar said we were irritating. Hoda Kotb called us picky eaters.

We eat gluten-free because we HAVE to. It is our medical treatment. Yet it continues to be a running joke in the media. And that trickles down to people who are consuming the media and the bullying proceeds.

So what’s the answer? I wish I knew. It seems our country has broken down into two sectors: those who have true empathy and those who think we should all just suck it up. And that divide seems to be getting stronger and stronger.

While I may not have an answer, I do have a piece of advice for those who are on the “suck it up” side:

I know you really don’t care about anybody but yourself. And I know you like to belittle people who you feel are beneath you. Maybe you were bullied as a child and the cycle is hard to break. Or maybe you’re just a contemptible wanker who gets his/her kicks out of making others feel bad. Whatever the reason, please understand that we what eat has NOTHING to do with you. Take that negative energy that is consuming you and put it toward something good. The world is a mess. Let’s work on being part of the solution and not part of the problem. Let’s make this a better place to live.