Dude Note: I wrote this back in 2015 when I was struggling with…well…um…er…just read the dang post. 🙂
Today’s topic of discussion
Is simple and clear
We’re talking about our bodies
And the stuff that comes out of our rear
I know it’s not easy
And it may make you feel a bit loopy
But what is more natural
Than taking a little poopie?
No need to be squeamish
It’s not something to miss
As we converse about what happens
When I squeeze a Hershey’s Kiss
You see ever since celiac
My deuces have been runny
For all of you in the same boat
You know that this ain’t funny
It’s been awful, it’s been messy
When I go in the dumpy
There is just nothing fun
When I push out a grumpy
Celiac does a number
On my intestinal tract
Out of nowhere I get that feeling
“OMG…I’ve got to take a crap!”
I run to the bathroom
Or you can call it the pooper
But no matter what you call it
I drop a nasty state trooper
So six years and running
I’ve taken my lumps
But now things have brightened
When I take my dumps
They’re solid, they’re clean
Like god meant them to be
Now it’s not so bad
Going to the crap factory
So what have I changed?
What have I done?
Why is going number two
Now as easy as going number one?
Let me explain
I’ll lay it all out on the table
Why not it’s not so unpleasant now
When I lay some cable
Five months ago
I listened to a voice
That said feeling so crappy
Doesn’t need to be a choice
I’d already given up dairy
Along with soy and corn
But I needed to do more
And take the bull by the horn
So I hit the pharmacy
CVS to be exact
To purchase some vitamins
That perhaps my body lacked
I brought a Probiotic
Nature’s Bounty is the brand
And Vitamin B-complex
To help me in the can
I took them every morning
I didn’t miss a day
I wished and prayed and hoped
That my loose doodies would go away
And boy oh boy wouldn’t you know it
Within a week I said “See ya”
To all those chocolate squirts
And nasty diarrhea
Now I’m in and out
I don’t make a gigantic fuss
Dare I say it’s almost enjoyable now
Riding the porcelain bus?
So if you’ve got some issues
When you’re in the loo
Try to do as I did
And see if it helps your poo
Again…that’s Probiotics and B-complex
This is my big scoop
I really hope it helps
Next time you take a poop
Leave a Reply